"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
07/19/2017 at 09:51 • Filed to: dadlopnik
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"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
07/19/2017 at 09:51 • Filed to: dadlopnik | 8
| 23 |
On Amazon Prime Day my wife found a good deal on a metal “Geodome Play Central Command Operation Lawn Freedom Base Station” or something like that. Normally selling around $170, it was on sale that day and both kids’ birthdays are just a few weeks out. Through some glitch (we believe) it took the discount twice (or more?), and the total cost for the whole thing plus a swing was under $60. TOTAL. I have no moral hangups about taking advantage of an apparent error from Amazon.
this is probably how the kids picture it. (photo credit, obviously, disney.)
Yesterday it showed up via UPS and when I came home, the kids were quite literally clawing at the box trying to get it open. Big shoutout to whoever decided it was a good idea to put images of the item all over the outside of the package ; delaying this until their birthdays was out of the question now.
literally clawing at the tape.
I texted my wife (she was still at work) and she said, “yeah, go ahead and open it, but fair warning: my friend told me it took her husband 3 HOURS to set it up.” I replied, Wow, low bar? Thinking,
come on, I took a transmission out of my boat, replaced the damper plate and reinstalled the transmission, put it back in the water and tested it, BY MYSELF, in three hours.
Her response: “reviews on amazon are confirming that time frame for assembly.”
If there’s one thing to take away from this story - in case you live under a rock and didn’t already know this - Amazon reviews are about as good a source of reliable information as your town drunk. In fact, he probably wrote most of the reviews that say things like, “
Terrible flashlight, tasted like peanut butter. Was not able to cut through sheet steel as promised.”
Some
are useful. Most are not.
Total time from opening the package to having the kids climbing all over it was 86 minutes. Timestamped text messages to my wife confirm this - in fact, it was only 71 minutes until it was all assembled, I just had to tighten it up and put on the plastic handholds; I spent easily half of the remaining 15 minutes trying to keep the kids from impaling themselves on the studs for the handholds it while I finished it up.
This validates my general feeling that anyone with some solid wrenching experience can assemble even a fairly complex children’s toy in half the time of a normal, otherwise perfectly capable and intelligent human. And miles ahead of the average Amazon review writer. Here are some direct quotes from the reviews:
This is not something that can be put together with one person.
after 6 hours (because I did it myself and took a few breaks every now and then) I finally got it done
Took 2-3 hours once we got the hang of it.
But then there was this gem:
The only issue was it created a Thunderdome in my back yard. The children started chanting two kids enter one kid leaves. The benefit is there is now a venue for solving all arguments.
Lol.
Oh and by the way, the box
inside
the one with all the images was totally plain. Hence my WTF pic/text after a surprise being ruined by packaging.
There you have it, “photographic” evidence.
TheTurbochargedSquirrel
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:01 |
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There’s a little checkbox you can tick on Amazon to have them conceal an item by putting it in a box. I did it with the monitor my sister and I got our dad for Father’s day.
AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:03 |
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Cool story! I think the same goes for Ikea furniture.
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functionoverfashion
> TheTurbochargedSquirrel
07/19/2017 at 10:03 |
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AH! Yes of course. Good to know around the holidays in particular. I almost always come home with the kids, and they have eagle eyes for packages.
MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:06 |
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Same thing happened with the Crib a few years ago. “took 2 of us 4 hours!” “Took me 5 hours by myself!” Wife went out for 45 minutes and came back and it was built, she was like WTF?! I told her I would’ve been done even faster if I didn’t have to take part of it back a part to flip something around.
Some people are mechanically inclined and good at putting things together and taking them apart. Some people are not. Guess which type of people typically fill out online reviews?
Nice work, maybe I should get one of those. Even at full price it seems like cheap back yard fun. Is it easy to move around for mowing? (biggest hang up I’ve had about a swing set is I don’t need more shit to mow around, also I’m apparently a grumpy bastard lol)
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functionoverfashion
> AMGtech - now with more recalls!
07/19/2017 at 10:08 |
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True! Also, these people probably use the included tools, not cordless drills with appropriate bits.
A lot of the joints come apart multiple times in the assembly process as you add to it; using only hand tools - non-ratcheting ones, at that - would take forever.
Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
> AMGtech - now with more recalls!
07/19/2017 at 10:08 |
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What do people find so hard about Ikea stuff? It’s dead simple to put together. Fun, even.
HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:12 |
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Mind sending me the link? This would be an awesome addition for those “you can go play out side but you have to stay in the back yard” moments.
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functionoverfashion
> MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
07/19/2017 at 10:12 |
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I haven’t moved it very far yet, but I am 5'10 ish and built like a twig and I can stand under it, lift up and *sort of* carry it around to move it. I feel like it will be easy enough to move once a week or whatever. With two people it would be really easy to move. It would be easier actually if I could stand in the very center.
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functionoverfashion
> HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/19/2017 at 10:13 |
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https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004K0Q8LG/
crowmolly
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:19 |
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Total time from opening the package to having the kids climbing all over it was 86 minutes. Timestamped text messages to my wife confirm this - in fact, it was only 71 minutes
The ‘ol challenge to your mechanical ability. Nothing in the universe is a better motivator.
Stapleface
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:19 |
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Seriously, what’s so hard about that? It looks like once you figure out how to get the first couple of pieces together it should be relatively easy.
I’ve also generally taken less time to put stuff together. Except for one piece of furniture. There was very clearly a step (or 10) missing one time when you go from one picture to the next and the thing is mostly assembled. Who knows if I ever got it together right. At least it hasn’t fallen apart though.
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functionoverfashion
> Stapleface
07/19/2017 at 10:35 |
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It’s not that hard. I think people get panicky about the in-between stages where it *should* be somewhat standing on its own, but isn’t. At that stage, I could have used 6 more people to hold it in different places... but I didn’t worry about it.
So many of the steps involved taking apart joints to add things; I could see this coming and never tightened anything beyond finger-tight, depsite instructions to the contrary. That helped, too.
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AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
07/19/2017 at 10:44 |
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I don’t know if I’d call it fun, but I might be a little jaded from constantly working on stuff
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 10:52 |
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Interesting. Like I said seems like nice affordable fun in the backyard for the kids. All I see are “deals” for $2,000 gigantic jungle gyms. My backyard isn’t huge.
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functionoverfashion
> MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
07/19/2017 at 11:06 |
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Yeah, I’m impressed for the price. It’s quite strong, and aside from the inevitable falls I think the kids will love it; they already have had fun with it, but it’s still new...
6691 zapS
> MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
07/19/2017 at 11:27 |
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What kind of casters could be attached to the thing?
Castors:
How to put them on:
Watched someone weld on side so wheels don’t engage floor or ground unless item is tilted.
Maybe bolt to bottom junction with longer bolt? See how it would move before attempting a more permanent solution? Like welding?
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> 6691 zapS
07/19/2017 at 11:31 |
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1. dunno how to weld
2. casters outdoors in Michigan would be rust blocks by spring.
FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 11:33 |
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I have the exact same one. You got a heck of a deal, I think I got it on sale for $150. I’ve hade it several years and it is holding up perfectly, not even fading of the paint or plastic grips. I think it did take me around 3 hours to get together, but it definitely wasn’t hard, I just took my time with it. It does help if you have one extra pair of hands when getting the first couple stars together, but after it is standing on its own finishing it is cake.
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FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
> HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/19/2017 at 11:35 |
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If you have a Costco or Sams membership check there too. I have the same one and got it for less than Amazon was selling it at the time. I’ve had it for several years now and it’s holding up great.
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functionoverfashion
> FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
07/19/2017 at 12:56 |
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I do have to admit, I was trying to do it quickly; partly to beat the estimates, but partly because my kids were almost literally on my back asking when they could climb it. Generous use of cordless drills with appropriate bits.
I didn’t follow every rule about the order of parts and overlap of all the various flanges... I can’t see that it would really matter.
And it’s great to hear that it’s all holding up well! Ours will be outside 365 days, as I expect most would be. I’m considering replacing the fasteners on the ground level with stainless. It would probably be $30 in bolts, which is funny but may be worthwhile.
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FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com
> functionoverfashion
07/19/2017 at 13:23 |
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Yeah I live in the Southwest, so rust isn’t an issue. If it snowed or we got much standing water I might consider replacing the lower bolts too. Lifetime stuff is good in general. I also have a free-standing basketball goal of theirs that is around 10 years old and only just starting to show some signs of corrosion on the last year or two and a big outdoor resin storage bench that is about the same age with no dry rotting. All left outside all the time. You got a hell of a deal - even at regular price their stuff tends to be worth it.
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6691 zapS
> MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
07/19/2017 at 16:51 |
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Hence the longer bolts at two junctions on the bottom just have your cordless drill handy.
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> 6691 zapS
07/20/2017 at 10:11 |
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I only have a cordless impact. Gonna need some decent size bolts lol.